5 Secrets to Get You Back in the Game After Divorce

by karl on October 7, 2009

1.     Focus on you as a person versus you as something to look at.  When you’re in your 20s-30s it is fine to attract people based on your outer appearance. Then that game gets old–you realize there’ll always be someone cuter or sexier looking. Focus on your great qualities as a person, and sharing those with your date.  You’ll have an edge on all the cuties and stud boys. Write a list of your 10 best qualities of personality or behavior:  If needed ask a friend or your mom.

2.     Try not to get back in the game.  Worrying that you have to “get out there” creates apprehension.   More likely you’ll meet someone going about your regular routines than going someplace to “hook up”, be it a bar, singles club, cruse ship or the like.

A little kindness goes a long way

Photo: Truckandbarter.com

3.     Do something about staying healthy , that you didn’t do while married.  Like going shopping all day and letting the house be a mess.  Or calling in sick to work and taking off to your favorite resort get-away on a whim.  These things rejuvenate you-you’ll feel glad to be alive, free and single.  The happier you are alone, the more likely a nifty guy or gal will notice you.

4.     This one is first on many people’s lists:  Get In Shape.  Here it’s fourth;  Hollywood standards can place undue emphasis on the perfect body–most of us will never look like movie stars.  So placing this first is a set up for frustration.  If it’s just to attract someone you may give up your workout or diet when you don’t get results right away.  A fit body is absolutely healthy,  but do it for yourself. Commit to exercise and healthy eating because it protects you from depression, heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and other maladies.  You’ll feel better when you look better, and enjoy a huge increase in energy.

5.     Wherever you go, be nice to people.  Here is an interesting post on  ten keys to kindness and consideration, It goes a long way toward making a good impression.  It only works, however if you’re sincere, not just showering consideration on pretty people.  Lend a hand wherever possible:  whether the hostess needs help with decorations or the old church lady needs someone to bring cookies.

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